matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I intend to get homeless drunk
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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