I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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