Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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