yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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