Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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