Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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