the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
