i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
