I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
