Me too!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
