Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
