Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

we just fucked in the mcds parking lot

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

wasnt he a virgin

(732): View more from New Jersey

yes we got celebratory milkshakes after

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(502): View more from Kentucky

there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.

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(310): View more from California

Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.

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(207): View more from Maine

He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.

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(212): View more from New York

Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"

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(702): View more from Nevada

The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant

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(507): View more from Minnesota

1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?

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(256): View more from Alabama

Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.

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