i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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