Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
3 2 1 whiskey
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
