I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
ok first of all what the fuck
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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