I think i peed on brittanys purse
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
