So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
