You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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