There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
