She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
