Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
