Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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