when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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