I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
