I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
