He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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