Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
