I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
