Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
