you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
