I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
