Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
