then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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