What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
there is glitter all over my balls
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