I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
