it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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