i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
