i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
