I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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