dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
