I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
