So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
