where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
