I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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