the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
