What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
