Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
