just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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