covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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