Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
