I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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