Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
